Part 19

I see you up there Ettin! You'd better stay the hell up there or else I'll knock the ugly off your one head onto the pretty one and then back again

Phew, he's gone. Which is lucky for me because I'm all talk. Well Farley, alone again at last

What's that large spherical rock-like looking creature doing up there? Is he here to help?

Hold on good buddy, that's no regular giant boulder, that's got Ettin-left-testicle written all over it. Advance one square backward or risk crushening

Stupid Ettin, not only am I not crushed, I now have an easy way to climb out of this whole and not get raped by an Ettin while I'm distracted during the climb!

Tiny shargas, I've killed at least a dozen of them already tonight yet they still keep coming. They never learn.

Or do they?

No, no I guess they don't. Which is good for me because nothing soothes the embarassment of being schooled by a sleepy Ettin

Get with the program gecko-monkeys, I'm supposed to be the one doing the killin', not the dyin'. That's what Farley's for

Well now this just ain't right. Here I am still chucking rocks and these assholes now have crossbows? If their reflexes weren't slower than a can of retarded molasses trying to do math I'd be a little more concerned. At least I can take some time to think of a serious attack strategy while they're firing barrages against the adjacent wall

Hey, no rushing! Thankfully Farley had his axe at the ready cause my hands were indisposed. Incidentally so was my adventurer penis

Time to take their shit. And then the rest of their loot, including this swanky new crossbow which actually sucks a lot and require both hands and as such I'll never use. Of course I'll still carry it, because I'm an adventurer, that's what we do

Another fucking bug! I'm far too busy to deal with minor pests at the moment, the best I can do for the time being is an angry fist shake

This is the worst step back in door related technology in this game so far. Whatever's back here had better be with it

If you fight as well as you talk, maybe I'll just send Farley in and catch a nap

Oo hoo, looks like we got us a bleeder!

Hey Farley, check out this guy bleeding like crazy! Farley? Oh shit, Farley's dead. I had hoped my days of dragging corpses around had passed

Even your excessive bleeding can't cheer me up now that Farley's gone.

At least Farley's death has been avenged. Sure we could stand around and try to figure out who hoarded the roots and sat back when he should have been fighting and led directly to Farley's death, but now is not the time for that. Farley was one of a kind, and it's tearing me apart to know that I'll never find another dwarf to fill my party the way he did

Wait, who's this handsome devil speaking in tongues?